Stepping Past Fear

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."  Those famous words from Franklin D. Roosevelt have inspired millions of people since he spoke them at his inaugural in 1933.  Does fear have you in its grasp?

Strange thing about fear.  It can keep you thinking small lured by the comfort, safety and security of the status quo.  But it can also make you think too big trying to see into the future and framing multiple nightmare scenarios that may never come to pass. 

The worst thing about fear is it robs you of your confidence at a time when you need it most.  It clouds your thinking, and I know from past experience that fear-based decisions, whether in your personal or business life, rarely work out.  They come from a dark place and generally speak to the most pessimistic and negative aspects of any situation.

I have some really scary things going on my life right now.  In addition to the pressures of building my new coaching business, it’s time for my mother to move out of the house she’s lived in for 30 years (and loves) into a facility where the care she needs is close at hand.  At the same time, my dear, feisty 14 year old cat, Remy, is very sick, and I may have to make the really hard decision to end his life within the next couple of weeks. I’m devastated, and keeping it together right now is a challenge. 

So how am I coping?  I imagine myself walking across a river concentrating only on stepping to the next stone.  If I allow myself to wallow in ‘what might be’ or to project forward to the end of both my loved ones’ lives, I’d fall into that raging river and get swept away.  I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed in the morning and wouldn’t be of any use to either Mom or Remy at a time when they most need me to be brave for them. 

Therefore, my mantra right now is: stay focused on what’s going on today and don’t make any decisions before their time.  I’m seeing a couple of benefits to this approach: each decision is being made only when needed so I’m not torturing myself with multiple irrelevant options, and all decisions are based on the facts as I know them at the time.  I’m doing the best I can each day and at each step, which is perfect.  (Remember the definition of perfect: it’s the best you can do that day. See Lessons from Yoga http://transitionsparkcoaching.blogspot.com/2010/10/lessons-from-yoga.html.)

If you’re also facing a scary situation, take things one stepping stone at a time, don’t make any decisions until its time, and don’t let fear sap your confidence.  “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage,” wrote Anais Nin. 

Having a coach to partner on your journey can provide support when you need it most.  For a complimentary, no obligation coaching session, give me a call, and I’ll help you stay grounded in ‘what is’ instead of falling victim to your nightmares.