Lessons from Yoga

Just before I turned 30, I starting feeling aches and pains that I had never felt before.  So for my birthday while visiting family in Seattle I bought my first yoga book, Bikram’s Beginning Yoga Class. Bikram's Beginning Yoga Class (Second Edtion)I read the entire book on the plane back to LA, and I remember that first day of practice, spreading the book out on the floor in my living room.  I practiced yoga every day after work and on the weekends for the next few months, and the changes were phenomenal. 

I looked different, I felt different, and the way I moved was different.  It surpassed my wildest dreams, but for some unknown reason, once I reached a certain level, my practice began to dwindle to the point where I haven’t practiced for years.  It’s a classic example of knowing intellectually what to do, but not doing it - kind of like reading a magazine about healthy eating while having a burger and fries at Red Robin. (Guilty!)

As I approach my birthday 25 years later I’m resolving to get back to my yoga practice.  In preparation I’m rereading my well worn book, and I’m reminded of two key lessons I’ve applied for many years to other areas of my life. 

First is the concept of ‘perfect.’  What does ‘perfect’ mean to you?  For many it means attaining the ideal that implies comparison with others, being better than anyone or anything, flawless appearance, flawless performance, flawless.   The meaning I learned and have used in my life is “perfect is the best you can do that day.”  It’s not a comparison to anyone but yourself, and it’s not a comparison with yesterday or tomorrow. This lesson is all about releasing attachment to the outcome and focusing on the effort in the now.  It runs counter to many methods by which we’re managed or manage ourselves like: focus on results, bottom line compensation, sales quotas, pounds lost, training time, etc.  These might be great progress measures, but you can’t control every factor, you can only control yourself, and every day is different.

We all know when we haven’t done our best, so acknowledge when that’s the case. But if you did your best with all your heart, it’s perfect.  Be open to the learnings that come with any experience and incorporate them into your future efforts, and you’ll progress from there.

The second lesson is that you will only make progress if you push past the boundary of discomfort.  You don’t have to go to the point of pain, in fact that’s dangerous and risky.  Just go slowly, feel when you start to get uncomfortable and then stretch a little more.  If you’re consistent and give it your all, that discomfort point will move further away.

To grow my coaching business, I need to get out in front of people and start giving speeches.  I know this, and I’ve written a few speeches that got good reviews from friendly readers.  But standing up in front of a room full of strangers and giving a 20 minute talk scares me.  I’ve reached my discomfort point, and pushing past it feels very risky. So I joined Toastmasters to help me develop skills and confidence. 

I gave my first speech last night, and it went great!  I won the grammarian award for best use of language, and I tied for best speech.  But more importantly I got valuable experience.  I tend to get overexcited in front of a group and talk nonstop really fast.  In fact, I didn’t even pause when the audience laughed, and by the end of the 5 minute speech I was gasping for breath.  It seems I had forgotten to inhale.  Many fellow Toastmasters told me they did exactly the same thing, and they gave me great tips and feedback.  Now I’m looking forward to giving my next talk, and I’m confident that soon I’ll muster up the courage to get myself booked to speak in front of an audience of strangers.  I’ve found my point of discomfort and I’m stretching past it, which feels perfect.

Knowing is not the same as doing, and getting support for pushing past your discomfort are two great reasons people hire a coach.  If you find yourself in a similar situation let’s set up an introductory coaching session - I know what you're going through.