Start Creating Your Own Success

The number one determining factor of whether you’ll be successful lies within you.  Even if you need a positive answer from someone else like a client or a key stakeholder, the biggest success factor is inside you.  You are the key - more specifically, what you think and truly believe about yourself, about the situation, and about your expectation for success.

When you talk to yourself (come on, I know you do, just like I know you sing in the car…like me), what are you saying? 

Some people aren’t aware of how they talk to themselves.  Some people say things to and about themselves that they’d never say to someone they care about.

I love this quote:

 “Perfectionism is self abuse of the highest order.” 

Ann Wilson Schaef

If you want to create positive change in your life, you need to make sure your biggest asset is on your side.  That asset is you.  If you are undermining your own results, getting in your own way with limiting beliefs, low self-esteem and negative self talk, it’s time to change. 

Change starts deep within, and it can be a long process.  But that doesn’t mean you should put it off to tomorrow.  Get started right away. 

Here’s one small step you can take:  pay attention to how you talk to yourself and catch yourself in the act of negative self-talk.  Next time you hear that voice inside your head saying something negative, something that you would never say to someone else, STOP!!!  Close your eyes, take a breath, and replace those negative thoughts with something positive.

Seems too simple to work, but try it anyway.  Come up with something true and meaningful, maybe even something that makes you smile.  Don’t use something Pollyanna-ish that you don’t believe.

People in advertising make a fortune thinking up memorable and fun slogans.  Why not adopt a couple of your favorites and use them as your very own.  Here are 20 of my favorites.  Can you guess who they’re from?  (answers are below)

1.            Imagine possible.

2.            Never follow.

3.            Have fun while doing good.

4.            Life’s messy.  Clean it up!

5.            When you’ve got it, flaunt it.

6.            Have it your way.

7.            Play. Laugh. Grow. 

8.            Imagination at work.

9.            Never let ‘em see you sweat.

10.        Don’t get mad.  Get GLAD.

11.        It’s time for clarity.

12.        Because I’m worth it. 

13.        Wake up and drive. 

14.        Break out of the ordinary. 

15.        Just do it. 

16.        No rules.  Just right. 

17.        Something to smile about. 

18.        Takes a licking and keeps on ticking. 

19.        It’s not a job.  It’s an adventure.

20.        Imagine it.  Done. 

Turning around negative self-talk is a great first step on the journey towards more control over your own results and success.  Here’s another great quote:

Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
–unknown

Do you have a favorite slogan or affirmation?  Share it in the comments below.

1. AT&T
2.  Audi
3. Ben & Jerry’s
4. Bissell
5. Braniff Airlines
6. Burger King
7. Fisher Price
8. General Electric
9.  Gillette Dry Idea
10. GLAD
11.  KPMG
12. L’Oreal
13. Mitsubishi Motors
14. Nestles Butterfinger
15. Nike
16. Outback Steakhouse
17. Quaker Oats
18. Timex
19. U.S. Navy
20. Unisys

Create Your Own Happiness

In 1984 I relocated from Seattle to Los Angeles to take a promotion at work.  It was a great opportunity, so I took a risk and made the move even though I didn’t know anyone in LA. 

What happened?  HATED IT!!!!  I arrived New Years Eve, 1984 and lived the first month in a corporate apartment at Marina del Rey.  After work I walked around the boats and just cried.  Everything was concrete, and I was so lonely.

I found a cute little apartment near Redondo Beach, but my job wasn’t going well.  That “big” raise I got didn’t cover the increased cost of living.  And the heat!  I’m a Northwest girl.  Anything over 75 is just too hot for me.  The daily 2 hour commute to downtown LA in a VW Beetle with no air conditioning was hell.  I started actively hating everything – my job, my life, myself.

On New Years Day, 1986 I sat down with my journal and took stock.  At the end of year one, I was a mess.  All I wanted was to go home.  But a little voice inside said, are you really such a quitter?  Have you really tried to like it here?  The answer was no.

I made a conscious decision that day to make an effort to make the most of my situation and be happy.  The bargain I struck was that I’d really try, and if on January 1, 1987 I was still miserable, I could pack up and go home.  Until then, I had to make an honest effort to find the good in my life.

I loved living near the beach, so I walked and jogged along the bike path.  I sought out friends, even if they lived an hour away.  I joined the LA County Art Museum, and went to concerts at the Greek Theater even by myself.  I reached out to a woman who lived nearby and worked in my department.  Hope and I are still close, and I miss her every day. 

At the end of my second year in LA my life wasn’t my dream come true, but I experienced firsthand the power and possibility of taking responsibility for my own happiness. 

Here’s the secret:  happiness comes from inside – you own it.  It doesn’t come to you or find you from outside things and circumstances.   

I have a little plaque on my desk that says:  "Life isn’t about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself."  Same thing with happiness.   Happiness doesn’t find you.  You create it for yourself.

If you’re waiting for Mr/Ms Right to make you happy, you’ll wait a lifetime.  If you’re waiting to find your dream job so you can be happy at work, your career will be drudgery.  Let’s face it.  When you’re miserable, everything sucks.  It’s when you’re happy that you will attract a great partner and can appreciate what they have to offer.  When you’re happy you have the self esteem to create your dream job.

It's not a chicken and egg thing.  If you’re not happy today, try this:  decide to be happy and then implement daily practices that help you break the cycle of your glass half-empty outlook.  

Does this sound woo woo?   It is!  And it works.  Are you saying, yeah, Pam, I know this already – this is nothing new.  My response is, yes, this is common sense.  But if you’re not happy ask yourself:  what are you actually doing about it?  What daily actions are you taking?  Or are you sitting back with your arms crossed waiting to feel happy?

Start with small, everyday actions.  Here are some ideas (even for you macho guys):

Practice gratitude.   My fellow Toastmaster, Brett Dupree, had a great quote at our Kirkland Eclectics meeting last week:  “Celebrate the little things in your life, and your life will become one big party. “ So, party on!  Soon you’ll have bigger things to celebrate.

Mantras and positive self talk.  Here’s a great mantra from Fabienne Frederickson of Client Attraction:  “I did not wake up this morning to be mediocre.”  Find a mantra that works for you, write it down and look at it at least twice a day. 

When you catch yourself saying something negative to or about yourself, even inside your head, stop and say something positive instead.  If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, say:  my eyebrows look fabulous today!  Say anything positive you can think of, no matter how trivial it seems.  The key is positive self-talk.

 

Get those endorphins flowing.  Do things that get you moving and lift your mood like walking, yoga, or kickboxing.  Do whatever works for you and whatever you’ll do consistently.

Make the commitment.  If you’ve got a shitty outlook, acknowledge it and take responsibility for creating something better.  It will take persistent and consistent action, but when your mind is in a better place and your outlook is sunnier, you’ll find that your dream partner/job/life begins to come into being.  Embrace and enjoy.