Invest in the Process of Transition

When we want to make a change, our approach is often to want to close our eyes and just take a leap, land on the other side of a cliff, and get instant payback from suddenly being in a new situation. But lasting change, changes that create lasting happiness, don’t happen suddenly. They come as part of a journey, even if the catalyst is a seemingly sudden event like a loss.

My struggles with weight loss year after year are evidence of the flaws in this approach. I want to see and feel instant measurable and visible results immediately after only a few days of healthy eating and exercise. I’m constantly searching for that ‘miracle moment,’ a flash of insight and inspiration which will propel me on the way. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on magazines over the years searching for a flash of inspiration that would set me on my way, and I know I’m not alone.

I speak with people every day who want to wake up one morning and have their dream job magically appear or at least to be able to name their dream job. However, they embark on this search without really knowing what they’re looking for. They’re usually reacting to what they don’t like in their current situation without understanding what they want and why.

In my 25+ years as a manager I learned not to hire anyone who came into an interview in a ‘victim’ mode complaining about the abusive nature of their previous job or previous boss. Their victim mentality didn’t go away when their job circumstances changed, and after a few months or maybe a year, I became the ogre boss, and the job on my team became the current abusive job.

I’ve also encountered job hoppers – people who jump from job to job seeking fulfillment. After the challenge of learning their way around new responsibilities or a new company wears off, however, they’re stuck right back in the same frying pan.

In the book Good to Great, Jim Collins provided some sage advice:

“Here’s what’s important. We’ve allowed the way transitions look from the outside to drive our perception of what they must feel like to those going through them on the inside. From the outside, they look like dramatic, almost revolutionary breakthroughs. But from the inside, they feel completely different, more like an organic development process.

If you want to find your dream job, invest in the process of understanding yourself, what motivates you, your strengths, and your passions. Figure out how you want to express yourself through your work because the job doesn’t make you, you make the job.

“How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.” Coco Chanel

So resist the temptation of looking for the ‘miracle moment’ and focus your efforts on the day-to-day incremental steps of the process of transition. When you look back over time, you’ll find yourself in a different place, and maybe even be thinner.

6 Step Program for Negative Attitude Addiction

Are you unhappy in your current job and planning to look for something else when the job market recovers? Poor business results, downsizing, offshoring and rampant fear are just some of the factors chipping away at job satisfaction. Every day I hear about people who are miserable but have made a conscious decision to stay put for now.

But don’t let the challenges of your current situation undermine your ability to find something better down the road. Before planning your next move, make sure your confidence is in tip top shape. Putting together a powerful resume and search strategy takes confidence and perspective. Choosing to network and sell yourself takes courage and persistence, even in a good economy.

So what can you do now to build your confidence? Well, how is your daily attitude, your state of mind, right now? Would you hire you? Or do you:

• Complain to coworkers, family & friends about your crummy job, in fact that’s all you seem to talk about?
• Find fault with everything - do you actively look for things to gripe about?
• Allow your worst self to come out because you just don’t care what other people think of you or how you impact them?

You don’t have to love your job, but a long term goal of wanting something better in the future needs to be more important. If you’re feeling hopeless you may be caught in a destructive cycle – addicted to your negativity. Addicts can’t help themselves. The short-term pleasure of release and the feeling of superiority from finding fault outweighs everything else.

Break this cycle and take charge of creating your brighter future. Here is my 6 step program for overcoming a negative attitude addiction:

Step 1: Admit you have a problem, and the problem isn’t your job or your stupid boss, or the economy. You may be unhappy with these things and feel justified, but that thinking won’t move you forward. The problem that needs to be solved is your attitude, and you’re in the drivers’ seat.

Step 2: Take a personal inventory. Be brutally honest and get specific. If this is difficult, ask for perspective from someone you trust or hire a coach to help. Be open to seeing things that aren’t pretty, but don’t judge or feel bad about yourself. Just recognize your behavior and the results. Name it and own it.

Step 3: Make amends. You’ve probably done some reputational damage with the very people you need for a reference. Business 101: don’t burn bridges. If you don’t want to openly acknowledge you’ve been an ogre, try a softer approach. Don’t worry about being ‘Suzy Sunshine’ – just make an honest effort.

Step 4: Try on a new code of behavior. Don’t cause whiplash by trying to suddenly become someone else. Identify those situations that bring out your worst, and develop strategies to keep your ogre from appearing. Tape your mouth shut if you have to. It’s not the magnitude of the changes – consistency and persistence are the keys here.

Step 5: Take it one day at a time, or as Dale Carnegie taught: live in day-tight compartments. Instead of looking for things to complain about, look for the good in each day, even if it’s only what you had for lunch.

Step 6: Be a positive influence. Why not take all those brains, all that skill, all of those great leadership qualities you’re going to highlight on your resume and turn them into a force for good right now? Nothing will build your confidence more than knowing that you can deliver value and be a constructive and positive contributor in any business climate, not just the good times. If you’re saying, “but no one will recognize and reward me for this,” then you’ve got your eye on the wrong target. Think bigger!

There will be times when you backslide, but just catch yourself and try again. If you make an honest effort, your confidence will begin to grow and you’ll be in a better frame of mind to begin the next phase of creating a brighter future for yourself.