3 Steps To A Career Makeover

Are you looking for a new job, thinking about looking for a new job, or just want to step it up in your current job?  It may be time for a make over.  Not the kind of makeover where you get a new haircut or buy new clothes.  I’m talking about changing how you present yourself at work. 

To present yourself differently, you need to see yourself differently.  Here are three ways to stand out from the crowd:

First, understand your strengths and structure everything around them. 

If you don’t know your strengths, head to the bookstore right now and buy a copy of StrengthsFinder 2.0.  Take the assessment and download the detailed report, which contains some great coaching for how to develop your natural talents.  Then write down three examples from your current or recent jobs where you’ve demonstrated each of your 5 top talent themes.  If you’re having trouble with this, ask your coworkers.

When I first took StrengthsFinder, my top talent theme was ‘strategic.’  I couldn’t see it.  After all, I didn’t have “Strategy” in my job title, and it felt presumptuous to say my top strength was being strategic.  When I asked my staff, they just laughed.  One person said, “Are you kidding?  You get this look on your face, you start waving your hands around, then you fill up a white board, and we have our work for the next two years.”  OK, that sounded strategic. 

The key to personal success is to do more of what you like to do, and we like to do what we’re naturally good at doing.  Think about it.  Wouldn’t you like to be paid well for doing what you love?

To move in this direction, you need to be conscious of your strengths and build around them.  That includes everything from the direction of your career to your daily activities, your resume, and examples you discuss in job interviews and performance reviews. 

Second, understand, acknowledge, and appreciate the value you create.

How do you create value?  Oftentimes, people aren’t conscious of this, like our strengths.  It’s so ingrained that we just take it for granted.  It’s invisible.  We’re focused on what we do because we’re driven by our calendars, to do lists, and the demands of others. 

When you’re in a job that’s an expression of your passion and purpose, you’re very aware of the value you create. Unfortunately not many of us have that kind of job…yet. 

Think back over your work experience and look for themes. Do you consistently:

Increase productivity?

Improve/contribute to teamwork or resolve conflicts?

Streamline a processes or procedures?

Identify needs or problems and initiate solutions?

Save time and money?

Function as an expert?

Make order out of chaos?

Bring people together around a common goal?

Come up with creative ideas? 

Focus on your contribution, not your job responsibilities and tasks.  When you begin to recognize and acknowledge your own value, others will, too.

I had a client who really struggled to see her value.  When I asked what her contribution was to her organization, she said that she keeps people’s spirits up.  She remembers peoples’ birthdays and did the holiday party planning.  Even to her it sounded junior once she said it out loud.  But we dug deeper and saw that she built strong relationships across the organization that resulted in people being willing to go the extra mile to help out with one of her projects if needed.  She went from having a self-image of a junior ‘party girl’ to someone who forged and maintained cross-functional relationships.  This changed her whole view of herself, her job, and her contribution.

Third, be your authentic self.

In a highly competitive job market where there are two or more candidates with the same experience, the person who lets their self come through is more likely to connect with the hiring manager and therefore more likely to get the offer.

Making a connection requires vulnerability.  Dare to put yourself out there with no guarantees.  Risk a connection.  It’s scary!  Do it anyway.

Patricia Fripp, one of the country’s top public speakers said,  “You’re hired more for who you are then what you know.”  She was talking about professional speakers, but I feel this is a truism across the board.

Conquering the 'F' Word

Do you have a dream, but are afraid to move forward?  Are you carrying around baggage from a previous disappointment and hesitant to go through that experience again?  The ‘F’ word – fear and it’s partner, doubt, are real and need to be faced head on.

What if my dream doesn’t come true?  There’s an old saying:  you’ve only failed when you stop trying.  Your dream may not come true exactly the way you envision it today.  Adjust and adapt.  Perhaps you’ll identify a new opportunity or a new niche that interests you.  Go for it!  You may need to implement in phases due to financial considerations or time constraints.  That’s OK.  Just don’t dumb your dream down or reduce it because of those factors.  Keep an eye on the destination and allow zig zags and stepping stones to be part of the journey.

What if I don’t have what it takes to make my dream come true?  Actually, you may not, especially if your dream is really big. Do you want to open a high-end restaurant because you love to cook, but your current job is in accounting?   You’ll need to go back to school.  Do you want to be an entrepreneur but you’ve never even owned a lemonade stand?  The transition from corporate employee to business owner can be rocky and full of ‘learning’ experiences.  Trust me – I’m on that road right now.  Be open to learning and summon up the confidence to stumble.  Acknowledge where and who you are today, and look at who you need to be.  Then take action to fill the gap.  Even small steps build momentum.

What if it turns out I don’t really want what I’m dreaming about?  What if I’m disappointed once my dream comes true?  There are some people who aren’t satisfied with anything.  They hide in dreams or say, my life would be great if only….  Others are driven by ego and ‘shoulds’ imposed by their younger self or parents. Start with acknowledging who you are today.  Be grateful for today.  Truly look at your life and find the good things now.  Make a commitment and implement daily practices to stay conscious of those nuggets and figure out how create more of them in your life.  Once you stop hiding in fantasies or clinging to ideas that aren’t true for you anymore and start living your life today – now – your true dreamer will emerge.

What if it’s harder than I think it’s going to be?  No surprise here - it will be.   The bigger your dream the harder it’s likely to be.  What an adventure!  It will require you to learn and demonstrate persistence, courage, and strategic thinking,  You’ll need to let go of the myth that you can do it all on your own.  You’ll need to build a team of people to help and support you.  Your precious ego is going to take a beating.   Think how different you’ll be two years from now.

What if it’s easier than I think it’s going to be?  Lucky you – everyone will be green with envy.  Next step – dream bigger.

What if everyone tells me I’m nuts for wanting to pursue my dream?  A lot of people will.  Listen to their concerns and incorporate their advice and feedback into your plans.  If their feedback is to abandon your dream, smile, say thank you and move forward.  Your heart and gut is the best judge of what’s right for you.

What if I run out of money while pursuing my dream?  Part of your planning needs to include financial resources.  Part of the zig-zagging may mean staying in your current job for awhile longer, or getting a part-time or contract job while you build your dream.  Perhaps you’ll need investors, which means you’ll need help learning how to swim in the shark tank.  That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue your dream.  It just means you’ll need a very detailed plan.

If you have a dream, I’d love to be your dream coach.  I have a proven 10 step process which has helped thousands of dreams come true.  It will teach you key skills and techniques you can use over and over for making any dream a reality.  Contact me, and let’s get started on making 2012 the year your dream comes true.

Ode to Steve Jobs

My MacBook, iPhone, an iPod are sad today mourning the loss of Steve Jobs. So am I. The media reminds us that we’ve lost a great visionary who was an inspiration to people all over the world even outside the technology industry.

As I read these wonderful tributes, they seem incomplete.  No…I don’t need the details of his personal life, although I’m sure some magazine will dig those up to make a profit.  While Steve Jobs may have been an extraordinary visionary, he must have also been extraordinary in many other ways to be able to bring his visions to life. 

To have a vision is one thing – a wonderful thing – but you need more than creativity.  It needs a foundational purpose that will inspire others to adopt it as their own, and this will fuel the fire for doing the hard work needed to make that vision a reality. 

I know so many people who have great ideas and grand visions, but their ideas aren’t grounded in a purpose other than to boost their bank balance and ego.  I saw a sign on a church down the street:  Heart is happiest when it beats for others.  Purpose provides the fuel, and when the purpose is ‘other’ centered, the foundation is rock solid.  Steve Jobs had a sense of purpose to make daily lives better.  In my opinion this formed the foundation for his visionary thinking and gave his creativity a target.

His communication and presentation skills were also extremely strong.  When he spoke, people were mesmerized.  I read a book on the techniques he used to craft and present his message.  The key was simplicity (and tons of editing).  He understood his vision so well that he was able to condense it down to its core and then communicate it in simple terms so others could not only understand it, but were inspired to follow.  When the vision is yours, that’s easier to do. 

In my corporate job I had to listen to a lot of presentations.  I could always tell when someone was presenting other people’s ideas or content or were presenting to an audience who didn’t share a common vision.  Their message was often muddled.  They needed to dwell on details and complexity in an effort to sound like they knew what they were talking about or to compensate for a lack of shared vision.  It was usually a disaster.

Having ideas is fun!  But if you aren’t ready, willing, and able to do the hard work to take those ideas and turn them into reality, they just stay inside your head.  As often happens, someone else will have a similar idea, but they will do the hard work to make it happen, and poof!  Your great idea is making someone else’s dreams come true. 

We’re bombarded with stories of fast and easy money.  I’m so sick of it!  (That’s a rant I’ll save for another post.)  If you want a great example of someone who had an idea out of the blue and put in the hard work to make it happen, check out April Morris’ story.  Express Effects Cosmetics  I met April at the Dream University conference I attended a couple of weeks ago, and I’m now a big fan.  She had an idea while in her car one day – I wonder if you could add an appetite suppressant to lip gloss to help people lose weight.  It took her years to turn that idea into a product, THINgloss^®, but she was driven by the underlying purpose to create a better life for her two kids.  She leveraged her strengths so she could change careers, which enabled her to fund her prototype, went back to school to become an herbalogist so she could work with chemists to develop the prototype, and then started marketing.  She now has success beyond her wildest dreams.

Do you have an idea that’s burning a hole in your head?  Check to make sure it’s driven by an other-centered purpose, clarify your vision so you can communicate it clearly so others will be inspired to join you, and make sure you’re ready, willing, and able to do the hard work.  Who knows, you could become your own version of Steve Jobs.

Lean Into Your Dreams

I didn’t want to be seen. 

After paying thousands of dollars to attend a five day workshop on how to become an inspiring speaker; traveling to San Francisco; putting my 15 year old cat, Remy, into a cage at the vet for a week (He hates that and will make me pay.), I didn’t want to be seen. 

It was Saturday night – day 4.  Earlier in the week we had spent a day with one of the top professional speakers in the country learning how to craft our message; a day with one of the top vocal coaches in Hollywood learning how to create a deeper, more resonant voice; and a half day with one of the contributing writers on the original Saturday Night Life to learn how to incorporate humor into our talks.  Such great content! Of course I took a TON of notes wanting to absorb everything.  On open mic night we would have a chance to take the stage for two minutes to showcase what we had learned in front of 100 fellow attendees. 

I hadn’t planned on speaking.  Instead I donned my ‘coach’ hat and worked with my roommate, Joyce (www.conversationswithyourself.com) to get her ready.  The workshop leader asked how many people would not be speaking. I thought, I’ll just watch, so I raised my hand.  But what it came down to was I had reached the boundary of my comfort zone, and I pulled back. 

What’s up with that?  I’ve led workshops on how to prepare and give presentations.  Why was I uncomfortable in this environment?

Later in the evening one of the participants told a great story which really summed up my issue:

One day a chicken and pig were talking in the barnyard.  They were so grateful to Farmer Bob for taking such great care of them.  “Let’s fix him a dinner,” said the chicken.  “What a great idea,” said the pig, “what should we fix?”  “How about bacon and eggs,” said the chicken.  The pig said, “That may be OK for you – for you that’s participation, for me it’s commitment.”

Yes, I did get up and speak.  In fact, I was so annoyed with my timid self that I was the fifth speaker that night out of about 70.  I kept hearing my own voice telling my clients to lean forward and stretch past their comfort zones. How could I say that I wanted to become an inspiring speaker and then wimp out when given the opportunity?  And let’s face it, two minutes is a “pin prick on a gnat’s ass,” as my Dad would say. 

So I talked about that very thing – how I didn’t want to be seen that night, yet I leaned into it.  In fact, one gal from Australia, who told a hilarious story about having bladder issues at key times in her life, said that she hadn’t planned to speak, but after hearing me she got up the gumption to get up on stage. I guess I am an inspiring speaker after all!

OK, it’s your turn.  When have you set a goal, invested time and money to pursue a dream, or wanted to make a change in your life or your job?  What happened?  Did you lose heart when the rubber met the road or did you lean in?  Were you participating or committed? 

If you have a dream or goal you’re working on now I’d love to help you lean into it and stretch past your comfort zone.  Contact me.

Activate Your Dreamer

When was the last time you sat down and allowed yourself to dream?  I’m not talking about fantasies  – uuuhhhhh, maybe I’ll win the lottery some day and then I’ll have enough money so I can finally call the shots in my life.  No, I’m talking about dreams.  What’s the difference between a dream and a fantasy?  You can’t control the outcome of a fantasy.   Go ahead and buy all the lottery tickets you can afford, but there’s nothing else you can do to influence the outcome.

A dream is something you can work towards, something you can make happen.  Don’t completely dismiss your fantasies.  There might be a dream hiding in there.  Do you dream of calling the shots in your life?  What does that really mean to you?  Working for yourself, being an entrepreneur, or a business owner?   Perhaps you have a dream of doing work you love and getting paid well for it.  Or you dream of enjoying the benefits of living a healthy lifestyle, being financially secure, or being in love.

Put your dreams and fantasies through the test:  is there action you can take to make your dream/fantasy come true?   If the answer yes, you’ve got a dream.  If the answer is no, you’ve got a fantasy.  Fantasies are fun; they’re the stuff that fairy tales and romance novels and made of, and who doesn’t love that?  But dreams change the world.  History is filled with wonderful examples of dreamers who worked hard and who took action on their dreams.  Can you think of some examples?  Do you know anyone who had a dream and then made that dream come true?  A dream doesn’t have to have global reach, and you don’t have to be a bazillionaire or a celebrity.  Your dream is as good anyone’s - it just has to mean something to you.

My neighbor, Carol, loves Hawaii.  It’s a place that feeds her soul.  She loves it so much that she scrimps and saves her money and vacation allowance to she can go every for a month every year.  Now that she’s retired, she’s working towards relocating there. 

In 1992 Pasado, a beloved 21 year old donkey who lived at Kelsey Creek Farms in Bellevue, was brutally killed by 3 teenage boys.  A local newscaster, Ruth Walsh, was so upset by event that she quit her job and formed Pasado’s Safe Haven.  Nineteen years later they’re one of the premier animal rescue organizations in the country dedicated to 24-hour rescue and rehabilitation of dogs, cats and farm animals.  Ruth and many others have a dream – and they put commitment and action behind that dream every day - that no animal should suffer Pasado’s fate.  Check them out – they’re a wonderful organization.  Pasado’s Safe Haven  

Countries have been discovered, humans have walked on the moon, and ideas have turned into inventions because people dream.  And of course there’s the famous quote from Martin Luther King:  “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.” 

So if you’ve lost touch with your Dreamer, make a conscious effort to reconnect.  Don’t shy away from the fear of being disappointed.  How can your dreams come true if you don’t have any?

There are techniques to manifesting your dreams – specific skills and mindset which can support you along the way.  If you have a dream you’d like to pursue, I’d love to support you on that journey.  I offer the Making Your Dreams Come True program from Marcia Wieder, America’s Dream Coach™, which has helped thousands of people pursue their dreams. Contact me and let’s get started.

What If

When our inner Risk Manager is on the job, we think through various ‘what if’ scenarios.  What if xyz can’t deliver their project on time?  What if I get laid off?  What if my new job doesn’t work out?  What if he/she finds someone else?  What if, what if, what if.

Why is our inner Risk Manager is always looking at the downside?  Part of the value of that role, I suppose, is to prepare us for the worst-case scenario.  As with many businesses, though, we listen to Risk Management but we seldom take action on what it says.  We just add one more thing to our ‘worry about’ list. 

But putting it on our ‘worry about’ list doesn’t qualify as action.  It’s just a cycle of non-productive circular thinking.  We seldom lay out a plan or decide what to do to prevent or lessen the impact of what we’re worrying about.  We just fret and stew.

A few years ago after my Dad died my Mom started really worrying about me. If I didn’t call her for a few days she’d leave me voicemails telling me she was worried about me.  When cell phones were new I was talking to her standing in line at the cash register at Nordstrom.  Our connection got dropped, so I tried calling her back.  Her line was busy for the next 15 minutes.  When I finally got hold of her she was in hysterics thinking that someone had mugged me.  She had been frantically calling my brothers and her friends trying to find someone who would advise her what to do.  Luckily no one was home.  Over time I began to see two underlying reasons for her worry:  she was expressing love in a motherly way (even though I was 45 at the time), and she was afraid of being alone.

I recently heard someone say that to worry was to pray for something bad to happen.  Putting that energy out into the universe just gives it strength.  Think about that next time you indulge in a worry fest.  What are you giving strength to?  What do you worry about, and what might be the underlying issues or causes of that worry?  If you’re playing out horrible ‘what if’ scenarios in your mind, what action can you take to prepare, prevent, or lessen the impact of those various scenarios?

Better yet, how about playing a positive ‘what if’ game?  What if you lose the weight?  What if you get your dream job?  What if your idea turns out to be a money-maker?  Don’t indulge in fantasies like, what if I win the lottery.  Think about things that you can take action to manifest.  (By action I mean more than just buying a lottery ticket.)

If negative ‘what iffing’ puts bad energy out into the universe, positive ‘what iffing’ puts positive energy out into the universe.

Using this technique is a great way to get in touch with how it will feel after you take action to make your dream come true.  Close your eyes and allow yourself to indulge in the vision.  What will it look like, what will you feel like?  Use this awareness to motivate you to take action and stay on course as your work to make your dreams come true. 

Marcia Wieder, America’s Dream Coach^®, says “Intention is one of the most powerful forces in life.  Without it we can sometimes stray without meaning or direction in our lives.  But with it, all the forces of the universe can align to make even the most impossible, possible.”

What if you took action to make your dreams come true?  What if you dared to imagine your dream life?  Even if you feel like you’re standing at the bottom of a deep, dark well with no way to get out (been there…), go ahead and indulge in positive ‘what ifs.’  It only takes small steps to begin and will yield better results than your worry fest.

Earlier this year I was trained and certified by Marcia to coach her proven ten step process, Making Your Dreams Come True^®.  If you’d like to learn more, contact me for a free introductory session. 

PassionQuest

A recurring theme I hear from new coaching clients is the absence of passion in their lives.  We often start out talking about how their careers aren’t as fulfilling anymore, but eventually the conversation leads to an overall lack of passion.  We’ve gotten so busy and harried that we don’t make time to do the things that matter most to us.  Any free time we have gets eaten up with chores, errands, and tending to the needs and desires of others.  When was the last time you felt a rush of passion? I used this quote from Socrates last week, but it bears repeating:  Beware the barrenness of a busy life.

I believe our passions are always part of us, an internal fire.  But like any fire, if not tended to it will die down until it just becomes embers.  If I were to ask, what are you passionate about - what really stokes your fire - what would you say?  And how long would it take you to come up with that answer?  Would you worry that your answer wasn’t good enough – or enough enough?

If you’re out of touch, consider embarking on a PassionQuest.  Identify something that you love or at least something that sparks an interest and bring more it into your everyday life. This is an excellent practice for making room for new dreams or even discovering your dream job. Do something you’ve never done, or do something you truly enjoy.  The goal here is to uncover something about yourself, something new perhaps, or something forgotten.  Don’t assume you know.  Play detective.  Turn this into a personal practice, and your passion will begin to burn brighter and you’ll feel that sense of ‘aliveness’ which may have been missing.

Start by asking:

What am I passionate about doing?

Perhaps you love to cook.  You could spend hours in the kitchen if you had the time.  Clear a couple of hours on your weekly calendar and sign up for a cooking class.  You may find new dimensions to your love of cooking.  You may become fascinated by the challenge of using only local, seasonal ingredients, or how food can be used as a cure for certain diseases.  You could ignite a desire to start a cooking club or to teach others how to cook.  Where could you go from there?

Who am I passionate about being? 

You love to read about politics, and you’re so interested in how the actions of elected officials impacts our lives.  You may begin by attending some local neighborhood or city council meetings, but you soon decide that you want participate rather than just observe. Biographies of famous elected officials often begin with a passion for being one of the people who are sitting at the table rather than in the audience. 

And my favorite, what makes my blood boil?

The answer to this question can be very helpful because passion doesn’t always reveal itself as bliss or happiness.  Identifying something that enrages you is sometimes easier to access – it’s closer to the surface. For example, you may get enraged by cruelty to animals.  This may inspire you to volunteer at the local Humane Society.  But as you keep following this thread you may discover that your passion is bigger than animals.  You may find that what really makes your blood boil is abuse of defenseless victims.  This could take you down a road towards becoming an advocate, a voice for any victim who doesn’t have one.

The point isn’t where you end up – hopefully that becomes a lifelong journey.  The point is to start.  Find something that matters to you so much that you have to act upon it and follow that thread, take consistent action no matter how small, and remain open to what your heart tells you along the way.

As that famous 1990’s pop group said:  Spice up your life! Need help brainstorming?  Call me – this is one of my favorites! 

Up Your Chances of Success

During my career with Corporate America, I was often surprised by how often the most fundamental question got skipped during the start-up of a project:  What does success look like?

Yes, the scope may have been defined at a high level, but not success.  How can we hit a target if we don’t know what the target looks like? How will we know if we’ve been successful? In the rush to get going so management will feel confident that the team is doing its job, this question does not get the attention it deserves.  It’s often viewed as too much work, or implied.  That might be OK for smaller projects, but the bigger the goal, the more attention this key question deserves.

I know from the school of hard knocks, that the better a team can define and buy into a crystal clear picture of success, the higher the chances are for a successful outcome.  I asked my staff to think a year beyond the end of a project. This long-range planning identified key activities to create long-term success such as ensuring a new system was designed to be enhanceable and the support infrastructure to support a new product was in place before it went live.  

I saw proof time and again that the more specific you can be in defining success the better you can design actions to create that success.

Are you working on a big dream or a goal? Here are some ideas for upping your chances of hitting a home run. 

►   What does success look like, or at least what does it feel like?

Get really specific.  Ask who, what, when, where, why and how questions to paint a really clear picture.  I have a new client who wants to figure out where to go in his career.  He’s reached what he feels is a dead end and doesn’t know what to do next.  He wants to identify his ‘dream job’ and has been trying to find it by reading job descriptions and postings, but nothing is sounding good. I asked him, when you find your dream job – whatever that turns out to be - what will it feel like?  His answers to that question have put us on a path, and a picture is beginning to emerge.  It’s still fuzzy, but to increase clarity he’s looking for opportunities in his current job that feel more like what he wants.

►   What else is going on?

Ah, dependencies. The dreaded realization that you don’t control everything.  But dependencies can also be opportunities - you just have to shift your perspective.

Let’s say you’re about to turn 50 and aren’t happy about it.  You set a goal to lose 30 pounds before your birthday since there’s nothing like a brick wall deadline to beef up your will power.  So, you’re chugging along keeping your eye on that brick wall - that 50 year old brick wall.  That 50 year old, sagging, graying, when-did-I-lose-the-ability-to-run-5-miles brick wall. A goal to lose 30 pounds for your 50^th birthday means you’re turning 50.  Instead of working with this fact, you’ve ignored how you feel about it.  This sends you into a tailspin of emotional eating, and there goes your goal.  But if you accept your feelings about turning 50 and shift your perspective to look longer term, you might decide to adopt new healthier habits to support this new phase in your life.

Cast a wide net and scan the horizon for what’s really going on around you, and deal with that.  You can’t fix what you won’t acknowledge.

►   What resources do I have?

A client said to me last week that she was hesitant to change industries because she didn’t want to go back to square one.  We worked on ‘unbranding’ her experience and found that she has a powerful 20+ year work history and a ton of skills and expertise which would add value in any industry. 

While it’s important to get specific, it’s just as important not to get penned in.  Does that seem contradictory? Sorry.  Give me a call, and let’s explore how you can get specific and stay open at the same time.

3 Ways to Tap Into Your Creativity

You need to come up with a solution, find a new angle, figure out what to do next, but nothing’s coming.  Your mind is blank. Or it’s so full of conflicting thoughts that you can’t find a thread to follow.  You take out a pen and start to map it out, but instead of drawing a picture, you’re scrawling back and forth until all you have is a blotch. You’re frustrated and all clenched up.  Here are 3 simple ways to unclench and move forward.

Find your flow.  You do this by letting go. The harder you try, the tighter you clench, and the tighter you clench the more frustrated you become.  It’s a vicious cycle.  The solution is to break that cycle.  Just walk away and go do something else.  Exercise is great for this.  Take a walk or do some yoga.  For me, I get on an elliptical trainer, plug in my favorite workout mix and get lost in the music.  After about 15 minutes, my mind starts to relax, and my creativity comes through.  By the time I’m done, I have so many great thoughts.  I had to buy a little digital voice recorder to get them all out of my head so I wouldn’t lose them.  Go with the flow.

Trust in the power of the group.  This was one of my favorite pieces of advice to the project managers on my team.  Groups have tremendous creative powers and can come up with solutions and ideas that you, working alone, cannot.  Napoleon Hill wrote the seminal work on this topic  Think and Grow Rich.  Don’t have access to a group?  Even with as few as 2 people working together, the engagement creates a third mind, a mastermind.  A best friend, business partner, mentor, manager, or coach (like me!) is a great place to start.  The give and take of a group will leapfrog you out of your current environment and take you someplace you would never have thought of on your own.

One great group activity is brainstorming.  Sometimes when I’m brainstorming with a client who’s stuck, they spend time trying to shoot down every idea.  That’s a huge no-no.  In brainstorming most ideas aren’t workable, but that’s not the point.  The purpose of brainstorming is to open your mind – to get you out of your own way and expand your thinking.  While a specific idea may not be it oftentimes the answer lies in a derivative of an idea, or a combination of ideas that provides the inspiration for a new way of looking at something. 

Beware of the negative.  When I ask clients what they want to accomplish or where they’d like to take their life, they typically start with a long list of what they don’t want, and that list is always relative to what they have today.  It’s like they’re clinging to the side of a swimming pool afraid to let go and swim out to the deep end.  What if what you really want has nothing to do with what you have today?  How can you possibly hear your inner voice if you won’t let go?  Take all the energy you’re spending hating your current situation and channel it into getting in touch with the voice of your inspiration – your inner Dreamer.  Let yourself want something even if you don’t know right now how you’re going to get it. You have to start somewhere.  Start with what you want.

Oftentimes when I’m coaching my radar sounds an alarm:  does this person really want to move forward?  Are they ready, or do they just want someone to validate their current position?  Funny thing about coaches – we don’t validate the status quo, especially if you’re stuck.  We’re all about forward movement and change.  You came to us for a reason.

Last week I was in the Bay Area attending a course with Dream University learning a powerful ten step process for tapping into your inspiration and realizing your dreams. Contact me for a free consultation when you’re ready to get unstuck and build your life around your dreams. (pnorton93@comcast.net)

Risk Management

During my last two years at Washington Mutual Bank I worked in the Risk Management group heading up a program to reduce deposit fraud.  Fraud is fascinating and scary!  One of the keys to our success was balancing the bank’s sales and service goals with the changes we were implementing to make us a less attractive target.  It was a tricky balance that took a strong partnership across multiple business functions.  

Good risk management doesn’t equate to zero risk.  The best risk management functions embrace the business objectives and collaborate in designing strategies to support those objectives in a manner that minimizes or mitigates risk.

How are you doing as Chief Risk Officer of Your Life, Inc.?  Are you managing the balance between your objectives and risk or are you too risk averse?

People seem to fall into two categories:  those who define themselves by their successes and those who define themselves by their failures.  When we have a setback we tend to ask, what went wrong? When things don’t turn out as planned, we often stop whatever we’re trying to do and shy away from going down that road again – there’s just too much risk as evidenced by firsthand experience. 

But people who are pursing their dreams and have a track record of success will ask, what could I have done differently, what did I learn, and what role did I play in how things turned out?  They then take those learnings and either walk away or make adjustments to reduce the risk of repeating the setback.  Seth Godin wrote a great little book on deciding when to walk away called The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick). 

So, CRO of Your Life, Inc., thinking back on 2010, what were your successes over the past year and what were your failures?  Draw a line and put success at one end and failure at the other and list them out.  I know failure seems like a strong word – think of it as things that didn’t turn out and things you walked away from - non-successes.  

Then look at the middle.  That’s where the goals not met often reside, the dreams not pursued, the abyss that creates a ho-hum life.  It might be the zone of work in progress, but it’s usually the zone of inaction or not enough action.  As the economy continues to create challenges, we don’t want failures so we forego creating success.  Things just sit in the middle until they die on the vine.

Now put on the CEO hat of Your Life, Inc. and think ahead.  What do you want in 2011?  Are you willing to dare to dream, take a risk and try for success knowing that a setback could occur?  Is your Chief Risk Officer on board collaborating to develop strategies that will support your objectives while appropriately managing the risk? Or is your CRO sabotaging your success?

I have a client who desperately wants a different life, but she is frozen in place by fear.  She’s afraid that she won’t be able to have what she really wants for her life and won’t even let herself dream.  She’s afraid she’ll get laid off and not have enough money to live, so she stays in a job she doesn’t like which is sapping her confidence.  This pile-up of fears combined with low self-esteem is so strong that she needs to feel safe and be comforted.  Guess what she does to comfort herself?  Shopping – resulting in credit card debt which is one of the factors feeding her fears keeping her penned into her current situation. 

Why do we do this to ourselves?  She’s not alone.  How many of us engage in self-sabotaging behaviors every day to help us feel safe and keep us on familiar ground?  We desperately want a different life but are unwilling to make foundational changes in thinking and actions that would create change and move us to where we want to go.  Our Chief Risk Officer (and Chief Financial Officer in my client’s case) need to get on board!

What about you?  Are you foregoing your own dreams by being unwilling to go for success?  By being unwilling to challenge and change the limiting beliefs and behaviors which keep you tied to your current situation?  Give me a call when you’re ready to have a talk with your Risk Mangement department and get them on board with supporting your dreams.

Dare to Dream

What’s your dream job, dream sweetheart, dream house, dream place to live, dream lifestyle? Do those questions excite you or do they scare you?  If you’re excited by the prospect of having something different in your life, yet intimidated to go for it that means you’re dreaming big, and that’s a good thing!  Or do you want to stop reading right now because you’re thinking:  why bother with my dreams, or I don’t have any dreams, or who has time for this.

My wish for you is that you embrace the new year and begin the journey to reconnect with your dreams.  Look forward and listen to the messages sent by your heart to burst out and move towards a life you love.

Is fear of failure stopping you?  Have you tried before, but failed?  We often think if we’ve tried and failed, we shouldn’t try again, and who needs that disappointment.  However, if your dream is still speaking to you, take an honest look at your previous efforts, accept your learnings from the past, but leave the baggage.  If at first you don’t succeed, figure out what to do different and try, try again.

One common obstacle is getting bogged down because you can’t figure out ‘how.’  So, don’t think about things from start to finish, try the reverse. Sit quietly and imagine what you will feel when you accomplish your dream.  What will be different in your life and what will be different in the world?  Get really specific and detailed with this description.  You might even do some type of dream board with pictures of your dream.  Then start asking yourself questions.  Once you get a list of questions, you can begin to investigate the answers.  If your dream is to live six months of the year in Paris, what type of job would you need to be able to do that?  How much money would you need?  I mean, do you even speak French? 

Make a project out of it even if it turns out to be a multi-year project. Staying put when it’s part of your bigger plan can change your whole perspective on your current situation.  Identify things you can do today to move towards your dream.  Do your Paris dreams include shopping for food in the outdoor markets?  Go to the local farmers markets and take a French cooking class.  For your next vacation, rent an apartment in Paris and live like a local for two weeks.  Once you’re in motion, it’s easier to keep going. I love the story of John Grisham.  He was a practicing attorney who finished his first two novels, A Time to Kill and The Firm, by getting up early and writing for one hour every day.

Don’t feel like you have to go it alone.   Find somebody who has achieved what you dream of.  Ask them what they did first, and get some tips on how to get started.  Also consider using a life coach like me.  Together we’ll examine why you can’t get moving on a particular area of your life and uncover what’s holding you back.

Whatever happens, you will achieve some kind of a result, even if it’s not the result you were expecting.  Sometimes our dreams come true in unexpected ways.

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Driving Force

Last week on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, there was an interview with Sting that struck a chord with me.  Jon asked Sting about the wide variety of musical genres that he works with implying that he is kind of all over the place.  Sting replied that he liked experimenting with different things to see how they’ll turn out.  He only likes about 1 out of every 10 attempts, but that’s OK because he’s driven by curiosity.

Driven by curiosity.  What a wonderful way to be.  And it fits when you look back on Sting’s career.  Someone else who is driven by achievement or perfection might find his approach frustrating. It’s all about your attitude.  The lens through which you view your current situation depends a lot on what motivates you, and what motivates you influences how you view your current situation.  It works both ways.

When there’s an underlying driving force, you feel pulled forward versus the feeling of pushing sand up a hill that you get when you’re working outside or against what motivates you. The specific circumstances become secondary.  If you’re motivated by learning, you can follow that urge in all aspects of your life – at work, at home, in your hobbies, with your family.  However, if you have a job where you’re not learning and you don’t create another outlet to express that part of yourself, you’ll feel bored, disconnected, frustrated, and bitter. 

Money is a surface-level motivation and it’s just not enough.  Dig deeper and you’ll find a motivator that speaks to who you at the core as a person.

I’m motivated by self-expression.  When I took up ballroom dancing I didn’t have any illusions about becoming a great or even good dancer.  What I enjoyed was learning a wide range of ballroom and Latin dances and then exploring the character of each dance trying to bring forward those aspects of myself.  It sometimes took some digging, but it was part of the fun for me.

So, what drives you?  What motivates you?  Is it:  adventure, discovery, curiosity, achievement, having an impact, solving a problem, bringing order to chaos, security, creating, inspiring, teaching? 

I have a client who is a senior manager for a large company.  After many years successfully managing her line of business, she was offered an opportunity to join a team to develop a new system to replace the core infrastructure of her company.  It was a prestigious position.  They wanted an ‘A’ team, and she would be representing the core business stakeholders’ interests on the ‘it’ program. She was ready for a change and was passionate that the new system meet the needs of her internal clients. After the initial learning period she didn’t like her job but couldn’t figure out why. She was frustrated and worse still, she was losing favor with her management.

We started at square one:  what are you motivated by – what drives you. Working together we determined she's motivated by achievement.  She’s a ‘get it done’ person with a really strong sense of responsibility and the discipline to go with it.  It's been a key contributor to her successful career which started in sales.  But she soon discovered that activities like sitting in 4 hour roundtable status meetings drove her nuts and brought out the worst aspects of her ‘get it done’ drive.  Turns out that working on a job where ‘done’ was five years away, regardless of the money and prestige, was not the job for her.  Once she recognized this disconnect, we developed coping strategies for those situations she found particularly frustrating, and she started looking for another job inside her company.  She’s now in a different position which she is crafting around her motivations and strengths.

Understanding what drives you, what pulls you forward, is a great first step in creating a life you love.  I use an assessment to provide a 10,000 foot view, and it’s a great tool to begin the discovery process.  What would your assessment reveal about you and what could you do with that information?  If you’d like to find out, call me.

Dream Job Search

Would you like to find your dream job?  Get paid great money for doing something you love that energizes you every day?  There are a lot of people who are right there with you.

Somehow, we always know how much our dream job would pay us, but can’t seem to put our finger on the job itself.  We search and worry that we’ll never find it.  We’re jealous of people who love, love, love their jobs and blame our parents for not encouraging some prodigy talents out of us when we were kids.  After all, Mozart didn’t ponder what his dream job would be.  He was driven by an incredible talent from a young age, and there was no question what he would do.  He couldn’t help himself. 

Does that make you feel ‘ordinary’ in comparison?  Although for Mozart, the money thing wasn’t there for him.  Couldn’t help himself…money not a deciding factor.  Hmmmm, is there a hint here?

I work with many people who come to our first coaching session saying their number one goal is to find their dream job and want me to help them figure out what that is.  They’re hoping I can give them an assessment that will magically produce the answer – tell them what the job is and how they can get it. 

In my experience, if you go about searching for your dream job by searching for a job, you’re going about it in the wrong order.  I love the exchange in Alice In Wonderland:

Alice came to a fork in the road.  “Which road do I take?” she asked.

“Where do you want to go?” responded the Cheshire cat.

“I don’t know,” Alice answered.

“Then,” said the cat, “it doesn’t matter.”

And you know what, it doesn’t matter – not yet anyway.  First, ask yourself:  who am I at my core?  Not who do my parents want me to be, or who do I need to be to earn the money I want, or even who do I wish I were.  Be honest with yourself, pay attention, and become acquainted with your authentic self.  

I’m a fan of Rick Steves, travel writer and tour guide, and I read an interview where he said at his core he was a teacher.  Rick started out teaching piano.  After going to Europe with his father, a piano importer, to tour piano factories, Rick’s passion for travel was ignited.  He used his earnings from teaching piano to fund his early travels and taught a class, European Travel Cheap, at an experimental college.  His business grew from there starting with travel lectures and travel consulting, both teaching activities.

Rick says, “My passion for travel showed itself in a powerful interest in teaching others from my mistakes.  …I finally had to decide:  teach piano or teach travel.  I chose travel and the rest is a very well used passport.”  From those beginnings Rick built a large, successful business which includes books, DVDs, tv shows, lectures, tours, merchandise, etc.  But at the core, he’s still a teacher – he couldn’t help himself.

So, again, who are you at your core?  Don’t say ‘teacher’ only because I used that example (and wrote about teachers last week).  Are you an explorer, someone who likes to go to the unknown? Perhaps you’re a problem solver, or a natural salesperson who loves the hunt and to build relationships.  I met someone yesterday at a networking event who said she loved to build communities and help people connect.  It’s her passion - who she is – and her enthusiasm radiated.  If we were to look at her biography we’d probably find someone who started as a kid introducing people, hooking people up, making sure people were connecting.

Begin to answer that question:  who are you.  And remember, I’m here to help (pnorton93@comcast.net).  Then start bringing your authentic self into your consciousness and activities every day.  The good news is that you don’t have to find a new job in order to begin.  You can start right where you are today, and your dream job will find you.

Who Will You Be Tomorrow?

"The seed you sow today will not produce crop till tomorrow.  For this reason, your identity does not lie in your current results.  This is not who you are.  Your current results are who you were.”  James A. Ray

I was much struck by this quote.  You see, I’m instant gratification girl.  I keep asking myself after a day or two of healthy eating and exercise: why aren’t I skinny yet?  The answer, of course, is that my fitness level is the result of many years of unhealthy habits interspersed with brief episodes of healthy living.  Honestly, there’s not much I can do today to change the result today – not even buying a new outfit (which I’ve tried countless times).  This lesson has been a long time in the learning, and in the meantime I still weigh too much and have contributed huge sums to the bonus plans of multiple credit card companies.

The only thing I can do today is to accept who I am and appreciate where I am on my own journey.  Is there immediate gratification here?  Yes, I’m no longer beating myself up.  If I want to be different tomorrow, I need to choose to make changes in what I do today.  I have to invest in the process and know that the results will only come if I do.  It’s as simple as that. 

I speak to so many people who want to be in a different job.  They don’t know what job – they just don’t want the one they’ve got.  The risk is that succumbing to instant gratification and jumping at the first job offer likely won’t work out.  Even if you feel like you’re in a frying pan today, jumping into the first new job that you think is a safe haven will probably just land you in another frying pan. 

Plotting your next career move is more than a job search.  Like getting fit and healthy, it’s a process of searching first within yourself.  You need to discover what motivates you, understand how you can best use your particular strengths (can you articulate your strengths?), and know your core values because being in any situation which conflicts with your values is very stressful.  

Making changes can be a challenge, and having a buddy to keep you on course, whether it’s a trainer, coach, CPA, or a good friend, will help you maintain your commitment and increase your success.  If you’d like to be supported by a coach, send me an email (pnorton93@comcast.net), and I’ll keep you going. 

Whether you go it alone or with support, starting the journey is the key and the first step whether it’s finding a new job, losing weight, starting a business, getting your finances in order, or anything else is to acknowledge and accept where you are right now and decide to make better choices each day.

Challenging Status Quo Thinking

Do you want to make a change in your personal life, your career, your appearance, your business strategy, or any area of your life?  One barrier to success is succumbing to the quicksand of status quo thinking.

In business being stuck in status quo thinking is fatal.  Competitors who are innovating and improving will lure away your customers until you’ve fallen too far behind to catch up.  Saying that status quo thinking in your personal life is fatal seems overly dramatic (but potentially true).

Movement is a constant in nature, and if you don’t have a mindset oriented to forward movement and growth, you’ll find that the movement you’ll experience is backwards.  One of my favorite images is ‘springtime on the savannah’ outlined in Younger Next Year for Women: Live Strong, Fit, and Sexy - Until You're 80 and Beyond (Yes, there’s a man’s version called Younger Next Year: Live Strong, Fit, and Sexy - Until You're 80 and Beyond.)  The authors outline how humans were designed to grow or decay.  When spring came and they were hunting and gathering, their health improved.  During cold winters when they were sedentary, disease set in. 

Status quo thinking has the goal of preserving continuity, and in times of stress and change, especially change we don’t control, it can be comforting to sit still for a bit.  After all, change creates friction and causes uncertainty. 

But status quo thinking creates habits which breed comfort which prevents change.  It’s a vicious cycle, and the closer to your inner self you look, the harder it is to see that you’re stuck and why.  You just have a strong feeling of discontent combined with hopelessness.

How can you tell if you’re stuck in status quo thinking?

• Do you always do the same things or do things the same way?
• Do you think only in ‘black and white’ or ‘either/or’ terms.  You can’t see any options, and you feel penned in by limitations. 
• Is there an over-focus on measuring, accountability, and processes to save you?  Do you seek to do the same things better? 
• Do you feel like you’re spinning your wheels working hard but not getting anywhere?

If this sounds familiar, here are some steps you can take to break this cycle. 

The key lies in seeking out ingrained habits, customs and perceptions that maintain the status quo. These conventions are hard to see.  They’re buried deep, and we follow them unconsciously. It is impossible to think differently when you cling to the conventions.

Rooting out habits, assumptions and biases requires a lot of honesty and perspective. This is a questioning process, not an answering process. You’ll need to shift perspective, see things (and maybe yourself) in a different light, look at problems and situations in other ways. Put them in another context.

One approach is to think like an annoying kid and ask why.  Why do I just veg out in front of the tv instead of going to the gym?  Because I don’t have any energy.  Why don’t I have any energy?  Because I’m bored.  Why am I bored?  Because my job puts me to sleep by noon. Why does my job put me to sleep?  Because I’m not doing something that challenges me.  Why am I not doing something challenging?  Because I’m scared I’ll fail.  Ahaa.  Keep digging deeper and see if you can ask at least 5 levels of ‘why’ questions.

Imagine how others would do it.  A couple of fun books ask:  what would Jackie O do, and what would Jane Austen do?  Identify someone you admire, and ask:  what would they do?

Brainstorm with a buddy or a coach.  Put all options on the table and don’t rule out anything, no matter how unrealistic.  Try on something you’ve never tried before, and don’t ignore the jokes which inevitably arise during a brainstorming session.  Humor often contains great truth.

Another great quote by an unknown author is:  Change will come when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.  If you’re stuck in your own status quo thinking, send me an email and we'll set up a coaching appointment. I’ll ask you some great questions.