I talk to so many people whose number one goal is to find their dream job after which they can live their wonderful, fulfilled lives. When I ask them what their dream job is, however, they don’t have a clue. They just know the job they’ve got now isn’t it, and they’re frustrated. My belief is the answer is inside, you just need to peel back the layers to find it – layers of habit, limiting beliefs, fears, and sometimes upbringing. It might take some time and a few misses to get to the core, but the journey is worth it.
When I got laid off in 1991 from my job as International Product Development Manager for a multinational bank I decided to move home to Seattle and pursue what I thought was my dream job just for fun – working in a dress shop. Ever since I was a little girl, I loved playing with clothes, and one of my favorite pastimes even now is helping friends plan their wardrobes and shop. I started out as a teenager helping my Mom plan her wardrobe when she had to travel on business with my Dad. Later I loved to help friends on a budget with their work wardrobes in the days when we had to wear suits every day. When I landed back in Seattle I got a part-time job at a small boutique in the local mall, and two months later I was made the manager. Being a manager, playing with clothes, helping people shop – what’s not to love? But I hated it! It was day after day of long hours, sore feet, low pay, and being restricted to selling just the clothes in the shop. The fun part was helping customers see themselves differently, but invariably they’d bring the clothes back because their husbands didn’t share their enthusiasm for this new image. I thought I had found my dream job, so why did I hate it so much? After a few frustrating months, I went back to banking.
My friend and client, Michele, loves interior design and architecture. She can sit for hours drawing floor plans, and my pocketbook will never be big enough to fund her vision of the total gut and redo of my condo, although it would be gorgeous. But the thought of going back to school and training to be a designer doesn’t appeal to her. She’s not sure what she wants to do with her passion, and she’s afraid that an activity she loves will become a job she hates when she has to compromise her vision to please a client. Recently she’s become fascinated with maximizing use of space – a blend of architecture and smart design with a purpose. There might be a theme here, but again, what to do with it?
If you find yourself in this same situation of wanting to find work that expresses your deepest self, don’t give up just because you can’t put your finger on the exact job that meets that need. Instead of focusing on naming the job, look back over your life and find the common threads that were at play when you were at your best. And don’t limit your review to just work situations. Focus on who and how you were in these situations rather than the situations themselves. Then create opportunities in your life and your work that incorporate those themes. Over time, you’ll begin to walk towards your dream.
I thought I liked to play with clothes, but what I really loved was supporting people in seeing and expressing their own potential, and this comes out not only when I help my friends shop but it was also expressed through my management and mentoring style at work. Paying conscious attention to this underlying theme over the years led me to coaching, and I finally created my own dream job.
I wonder where Michele will be in 5 years.
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