Root Cause Analysis

I saw this quote from Mike Dooley (http://www.inspirationpeak.com/) last week, and I was struck by how much wisdom could be contained in so few words.

You can only ever be scared, when you believe in limits. 


You can only ever feel lonely, when you stop doing things.

You can only ever become bored, when you no longer follow your heart.

And you can only ever get overwhelmed, when you think the illusions are real.

Whew!  Who knew it could be so easy to get back on track? 



Which of these statements resonate most with you?

You can only ever be scared, when you believe in limits.

I saw a new tv show last week, Extreme Couponing.  People were clipping coupons to the point of getting hundreds of dollars of groceries for a few dollars.  It takes hours of detailed planning and resulted in the stockpiling of huge amounts of food and other household items.  It struck me that all this stuff made them feel safe because they were so afraid of scarcity.  The people featured had been impacted by job losses, so getting the most from their money was important.  But I still felt it was a mix of gluttony or greed and hoarding wrapped around a game of getting as much as possible for as little as possible. A continued focus on scarcity just invites more fear.  I wondered, would these people ever have enough to feel safe again?

You can only ever feel lonely, when you stop doing things.

Humans are hard wired to live in communities.  Unlike tigers, bears, and skunks, joining forces with others was a key to our survival as a species.  In many ways, it still is.  But we also choose to live in communities not only to survive, but also to thrive.  Recent world events such as the changes in the Middle East show the power of community while the frenzy over the British royal wedding shows the joy we get from feeling a connection with people we don’t even know and never will.  After a year and a half of working at home by myself I learned the hard way that I have to consciously reach out to connect with others.  While you can feel lonely even in a crowd, next time you’re feeling this way, head out to the coffee shop or the bookstore, or engage in an activity such as a sport, and stop using your computer as a substitute for true connection.

You can only ever become bored, when you no longer follow your heart.

A new client said last week that she felt so out of touch with her own passion that she can’t even remember what makes her happy.  Socrates said, “Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”  To reconnect with your heart, you need to create space in your life - not just time, although that’s the key first step, but also loving energy.  Forgive yourself for dreams not yet acknowledged, and promise that you’ll start listening to your heart.  Journal, meditate, or go for a walk.   

And you can only ever get overwhelmed, when you think the illusions are real.

Are you adopting someone else’s opinion of you?  Are you currently in a job that isn’t a good fit?  We’ve all at some point been in a situation that didn’t play to our strengths or found ourselves suddenly working for someone who had a different vision following an organization change.  Buying into someone else’s negative opinion of you can lead to your not doing your best that justifies a worse opinion.  It’s a vicious cycle that leads to questioning your own capabilities.  But you know in your heart you’d perform better in a job that suited you more so run, don’t walk, to find that opportunity.  Don’t buy into the illusion of someone else’s opinion.  Look inside for your truth.

As I’ve been writing this, it seems the overarching theme is:  take the reins.  Create your own opportunities and don’t buy into perceived limitations or other people’s opinions, seek meaningful connections with others, dig deep to get beyond habit and ‘shoulds’ to listen to your heart, and decide for yourself what is real and true for you.