There are times when nothing seems to be going our way. During those high-stress times, which are hopefully infrequent, we need an anchor to help us ride out the storm. When you’re in rough water it’s really important to make time for the things in your life that make you happy. Nothing reduces stress like laughter and joy, even if it’s only for few minutes.
Josh, a friend and former teammate is crazy about his wife and two beautiful little girls. There’s no question that his family is his number one priority. Josh therefore arranges his work schedule so he can be home in time to have dinner and play with his girls in the evening. If he’s in the ‘heavy lifting’ phase of a project and has more work than he can get done in a day, he’ll jump back online for a couple of hours after the girls go to bed. Josh knows what makes him happy. Carving out the time to make sure those activities are included in his day – every day – no matter how busy is part of why he was (and I imagine still is) such a joy to work with no matter how hot the pressure cooker gets at work.
Do you know what makes you happy? Do you know what matters most to you? Do you consciously arrange your day and create space in your life for joy, laughter, and the activities and people who bring you happiness?
I speak with so many people who get teary-eyed when I ask these questions. The surface answer is ‘no.’ The underlying issues usually fall into two categories:
v People are out of touch with what matters and what makes them happy.
v People aren’t appropriately setting boundaries because they don’t believe they deserve to be happy, they feel the needs of others are more important, or they’re afraid of the consequences.
A few years ago I hired a project manager from another group within Washington Mutual. Before she joined my team she was managing six different projects – a couple of which were very large and complex. When she came to work for me I assigned her to manage one project, but it had to be flawlessly executed since it impacted every deposit transaction in every branch. After a couple of weeks she didn’t know what to do with herself. It took her about 3 months to figure out that I wasn’t going to fire her if she didn’t work 8 – 9 hours a day in the office and then go home and work another 4 hours. Over the years her health had suffered from this harried lifestyle, but after a few months of a reasonable schedule she got a dog and started going out for walks after dinner. Her health and outlook on life improved, as did the quality of her work. Everything about her got lighter because she made time for happiness in her days. She had felt that she would be fired from her previous job if she declined taking on new projects, and I applaud her for taking the initiative to make a change.
Do you wish you were like Samantha on Bewitched? Just wiggle your nose and change your circumstances or transport yourself to a different space and time. Sorry, real life doesn’t work that way. But you can decide what matters most, know what makes you happy, and then begin to arrange your life to get more of those things into your days. It can be scary to think you might need to change your current circumstances. Don’t feel like you have to jump off a bridge. Start by making a list of what matters and what makes you happy, even if you can only think of three things. Add to it as you think of more. You can then begin to carve out some time each day to feed your soul and re-set some boundaries, if needed.
If this is hard for you or you feel burned out beyond recovery, a coach like me can help. I offer complimentary consultations that can give you a boost. Send me a note, and let’s get started.
http://www.transitionsparkcoaching.com/Contact.html
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