Run Your Own Race

Do you ever compare yourself to others?  In today’s world with so much social media giving us constant updates from friends and the publicity machines churning out trivia and spin on anybody who pays them, it’s hard not to.  A few of my new clients have mentioned that they’re taking stock of their lives and don’t like what they see.  They aren’t where they should be.  They aren’t rich enough, famous, or thin enough; they aren’t a published author, millionaire entrepreneur, and never appeared on Oprah (too late for that…).

This is a something many of us go through – I certainly did.  My attitude changed one day driving home from work.  It was during the Microsoft anti-trust lawsuits, and I was listening to a news item on the radio about Bill Gates’ testimony.  Just to level set, Bill Gates and I are the same age, we grew up in the same geographic region (Seattle), and graduated from high school in the same year.  Even though we have those things in common I’m not the richest person in the world (which he was at that time).  But as I was driving across the bridge I thought, I wouldn’t be Bill Gates right now for all the money in the world.   At first it was one of those flip comments we all make.  When I thought about it further, though, I really meant it.  While I admire him for his vision (a PC on every desk), how he made use of his available resources (very well connected parents), and had relentless drive and work ethic to accomplish something HUGE, that’s not me.  I will never be that person, and on that day driving home from work, I decided I was OK with that.

I know so many wonderful, successful people.  The more I’ve come to accept and appreciate my own strengths, abilities, and how I’m hard wired (aka my personality), the more I’m able to support, applaud, cheer, and help others to succeed.  It’s not a competition to me anymore.  Everyone is running their own race.

Step one on that path is to realize that we all have struggles, issues, and challenges.  It’s how we think about and deal with them that determines how satisfied and happy we are with our lives.  There’s a big difference between saying:  I wish I made as much money as Joe versus saying, I’m not where I’d like to be financially; what can I do about that?  At the same time, you need to recognize and appreciate what’s great about your life.

I had a friend years ago when I lived in LA, Trish Bracher.  She was a gorgeous size 2, highly educated, successful (both professionally and financially), and happily married woman.  From the outside she had it all – the nice car, the house in Palos Verdes, the title and salary, and she was funny to boot.  We used to jog along the bike path on Redondo Beach after work, and the guys would literally turn around to get a look at her as we trotted by.  But she had really bad asthma and often had to stop to use an inhaler in order to keep going.  That was the first time I realized that some challenges are visible, and some are not.  I wasn’t a size 2, beautiful, successful, rich, happily married women, but I could jog 2 miles without fighting for breath.  There’s no way to compare.  That was a huge realization for me. 

Who knows what internal demons Bill Gates struggles with?  Maybe he’d like to spend a year kicking back, being lazy and not having to live up to huge, global expectations.  Maybe not, but no one outside of himself and his loved ones will ever know. 

And you’ll never know about anyone else either.  Just embrace where you are on your own path.  And if there’s something you’d like to change or work on contact me. I’d love to help you strategize, stay accountable and cheer you on.